This past weekend I had the honor and privilege of being an usher in my friends' Joe Wallington and Liz Thorne's wedding. I was the usher on behalf of the bride, my longtime friend Liz, and was given the opportunity to take part in the wedding not merely as an attendee, but as a participant.
I arrived in St. Joseph on this past Friday (May 26th), a day before the wedding. I didn't leave early enough to attend the rehearsal, assuming that as an usher, my duties were relatively straightforward. I had received an invitation to the rehearsal dinner, what I imagine was once termed the betrothal feast in a period not so long gone from the present. It was a spectacular event; the dinner was at an Italian restaurant in an older building in the slowly reforming downtown of St. Joseph. The rustic appearance of the restaurant, combined with the fantastic cousine, made me experience the event as something of a bygone age when weddings as multi-day events were the norm.
Washing down the fine cousine was fine wine, in abundance. I myself drank two generous glasses full. Wine, and alcohol in general, is no unknown customary drink for a celebration or a party, but I had a realization as to why this may be so this weekend. I had some apprehension in going to this wedding weekend, on the pretext that were were a great many people I did not know and those I did fit in far better with the crowd overall than I did. When I find myself in situations where I am an obvious stranger, I have a tendency to retreat into myself while conversation between people who know each other moves farther from my opportunity to join. Wine, on the other hand, drowned away my inhibitions and converted me into a joyous participant in conversation. Mind you I was not drunk, but I had enough to help me feel much more relaxed and uninhibited socially. It helped me to more easily celebrate the imminent union of my two friends Joe and Liz.
In the gospel of John, Jesus turns water into wine at a wedding. Now, I want to make it a point to re-emphasize self control in drinking, but want to tie in the context of my thoughts on the matter of alcohol and celebrations. In the time of Jesus, it was commonplace to drink wine, especially at celebrations such as weddings (as I did and as demonstrated in John 2). If we as Christians freely condone the drinking of coffee, the use of herbal supplements, the taking of antidepressants and other psychosomatic drugs for anything from anxiety to ADHD to schizophrenia, why then such a stigma on alcohol? Any of the above listed substances in excess is harmful, many to a greater extent than excess alcohol. Perhaps it is because of the effect alcohol has on us socially, the context in which it is used. It decreases inhibitions, and in this disinhibited state many people are more prone to act upon urges they would normally suppress. Of those urges that become acted out, the ones most remembered seem to be those that are most shocking, most carnal, most influenced by the selfish carnal instincts of our human nature. Possibly this is the reason why alcohol use has undergone such extreme moral scrutiny and censorship (anyone having paid attention during history class will hopefully remember the prohibition period of the early 20th century).
Again, I emphasize self-control. I do believe there is a point where alcohol use is misuse, in the case of getting so drunk you are unable to properly function. For others it may be a lesser intake than that. Still others (such as sober alcoholics) may have to avoid consumption altogether lest they spill over the precipice of control. When I drink, I practice a vigilance of the effect it is having and how my functioning is doing. I try to set a pre-determined limit on my drinking, usually two per evening, often with food, more if the evening goes beyond a meal and towards the span of four to five hours and food is provided to restrain the effect of undiluted alcohol.
After the reception, the family, friends, and other wedding goers returned to the hotel, and all the groomsmen and I who were of age went to the bar and restaurant to enjoy a few drinks and continue the celebration. We laughed, talked, enjoyed company, talked some more about our friends, and eventually paid a visit to a hotel room that had been cleared of beds to be used socially. There was alcohol and food in abundance, and a lot of people of all ages were present and in high spirits. I didn't see one person who was drinking fail to walk with control or exercise prudence over their actions. There were a few who probably had more than I would have allowed myself to drink, and a few comments that perhaps would have been withheld without alcohol (although they could have been far worse, and were mostly in humor of what the bride and groom likely would be enjoying between themselves later that evening), but overally the alcohol had just enough effect to invigorate the mood.
To the newlywed Wallingtons, and to all those who I will see wed very soon this year, I raise my glass and proudly give myself to the celebratory spirit.
